Frozen 2 Abridged
by xXx DIGITAL xXx
Summary: Frozen 2, except everything is dubbed by me in my own imagination. A parody like that of HISHE Dubs and even Abridged series on anime, this will probably be demonitized and taken down by Disney. Lots of inappropriate good jokes and humor included. Read at your own warning for laughs.
1. Episode 1: A bedtime story

**A/N: This comes from perhaps watching too much YuGiOh Abridged and even Frozen HISHE Dubs. Just imagine the original scenes in this fanfic but this time, just being dubbed by random people. Anyways, other than that, remember let the Frozen drinking game begin. Everytime you hear Elsa sing, press f to pay respects for the poor sleeping Arendellians. XD.**

**Scene 1: A bedtime story**

Once upon a freaking time ago, there was a kingdom that appeared totally normal in the night, not like two sisters will still be playing in the night without adult supervision. Seriously, you would have thought that someone would be watching them. But no! Anyways, I'm getting paid to narrate this story so let's drop in on them shall we?

Title drops Frozen ll. Oh great, it's another Frozen sequel, I thought we were done with those two. And with a recurring joke as well: This movie is in 3D!

"Hey girls! Stop roleplaying so much and get ready to fall asleep!" King Agnarr called to his daughters Elsa and Anna, who were currently playing Enchanted Forest for some reason around close to 9 pm or I don't know what time it is. Anyways, the two young sisters continued playing, ignoring their father and mother as the parents entered the room, smiling at the sisters playing make believe.

"Quick Elsa! Use your powers for something other than freezing people and make me a prince! Otherwise, this isn't a proper Disney film!" Anna asked her sister while playing with a snow golem and a princess. Elsa nodded and used her powers to make a prince for her younger sister. "And it better be a hot one or else!"

As Anna played with the princess and the prince, she continued to voice for the toys with Elsa giggling. "Oh boy! The prince has been struck by the evil magic. Like every kids movie ever, only love will defeat every form of danger." She then proceeded to have the ice prince and princess make out in front of Elsa, making the older sister cringe in slight disgust.

"Yuck! Ew! Anna making a guy and girl kiss in front of me might implore in the future I might be lesbian." Elsa stated, getting up as Anna giggled at her reaction. "Shipping won't save the forest. It will only ruin the children's imagination."

As King Agnarr and Iduna entered the room, he chuckled at seeing the fun his daughters were having as they played, before deciding to interrupt them. "What make up fanfiction have you guys been reading now?"

Anna looked up at her father happily before going back to the toys. "Enchanted Forest! And it's totally an original story by me and Elsa unlike the other time."

This made Agnarr think for a while as he pondered carefully about how to react. "Perhaps my version might be better than yours. After all, I've seen an Enchanted Forest myself?"

Elsa looked up, shocked. "What? That's insane! You lokey saw one?"

Even Anna was shocked as well. "The fuck?"

Agnarr nodded, facing the girls with a smile. "Yep!"

Anna stood up, her hands on her hips as she looked at her father while Iduna smiled in the back. "And you decided after one movie to tell us this?"

Agnarr shrugged, gesturing to the sisters bed with a candle in his hand. "Well, perhaps if you stop roleplaying, I could tell the story…"

With that, the sisters rushed to the bed excitedly, eager to hear the story of the Enchanted Forest. Iduna came up to Agnarr with a concerned look as she voiced her opinion. "Perhaps it's not the time yet for spoilers."

Agnarr shot a smile to his wife. "Eh. We made them wait long enough and besides, it's not like anyone's gonna get hurt later on."

Anna whispered into Elsa's ear as the older sister giggled in front of their father. "I'm totally planning on being struck by you on my head by your powers tonight."

Agnarr raised an eyebrow and reached to tap them to get their attention. "If they can at least stop making plans that will force us to wear our outfits to go to sleep for tonight."

As the sisters calmed down, Agnarr began to tell the story of the Enchanted Forest. "Long before Frozen 1, far away in the North as far we can go, stood a very ancient Enchanted Forest that the writers of this movie made up now. Of course, goblins and whatever made up things like unicorns or fairies didn't exist in this forest, for it had realistic things, like the spirits of Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water."

"How is that any different…"

"Shut up Anna! Now, as I said, the forest was home to the group of mysterious Northuldran people."

Elsa was surprised. "They were magical like me?"

"No Elsa, they didn't have ice powers like you cause not everyone can be born with powers for some strange reason not explained. But they took advantage of the magical forces of the Forest for everyday things like karaoke, I mean umm, well normal Northuldran stuff. Their ways were so different from our lifestyle, but they still decided to be our friends. To be a nice king without totally not having an evil mindset, your grandfather King Runeard decided to give them such a huge dam to strengthen their waters. It was a gift of peace."

"Must be pretty big to be a gift of peace."

"And it was, for I was honored to go on such a trip to celebrate the construction of the dam, even though I wanted to stay home and do normal teen boy stuff." We then switch to the scene to a young Agnarr with his father as the Arendellians and the Northuldrans celebrate the day the dam was constructed.

"Now Agnarr, stand tall and look like a Disney villain, I mean, a Disney prince!" King Runeard told young Agnarr, the prince straightening himself to look more appropriate.

"Little did I know," Older Agnarr continued the story in the background for his daughters, "I was not all prepared for what the day would bring, since I totally was just a teen boy bored out of my mind."

We go to the scene where the Arendellians and Northuldran are celebrating with young Agnarr is shown while his older self narrates the story. "We totally let our guard down, which was pretty weird since no one even had their guard up in the 1st place. It felt very magical, although I was still totally bored. But then," It switches to Agnarr seeing Iduna flying with Gale and spying on her before the scene switches to the battle of Arendellians vs Northuldran. "Something went terribly wrong. The Northuldrans totally decided to backstab us after we gave them gifts for free."

The scene is that of Mattias putting Agnarr behind him for protection. "Get behind me your highness! My good looks will save us from the enemy!"

Agnarr continued his narration. "It was a long brutal battle, but your grandfather was lost that day, even though I never really went to see if he survived the fall. I just assumed he died that day. But the fighting angered the spirits, and they totally decided to kick us out with their magic!"

The scene is now of the spirits attacking both sides before finally switching to Agnarr being flung against a rock, being knocked unconscious before hearing the Atohallan call. "But man, there was this girly voice call and someone saved my good looks luckily. However, the spirits vanished and a powerful mist not related to Stephen King's the Mist covered the forest, locking everyone out."

It's now back to Older Agnarr finishing the story for Elsa and Anna. "And that night, I was laid."

"What?"

"I mean, I came home king of Arendelle."

Anna and Elsa looked at their father with fascination with Iduna being behind them before Anna voiced her opinion. "Wow Papa, that was like the worst bedtime story ever! I mean, even the Disney fanfictions I read were better than this! Although whoever saved you, I love them, no homo."

Elsa decided to ask her questions. "What happened to the spirits? What's in the forest now despite evil invisible monsters?"

Agnarr gave his honest opinion. "How am I supposed to know? It's been years since I even last cared about the forest, and the mist is still there. What? You want to be eaten by the monsters? But anyways, the mist still stands and no one can get in and out, not even Samantha."

"Who's Samantha?"

"How am I supposed to know who she is?"

As the parents then proceeded to prepare the girls to go to sleep sleep, Anna still had her questions for her father. "Oh come on! I still have my theories on the fangirl who saved Father! I need to verify them now before someone steals them! "

Iduna came to the bed, listening to her younger daughter complain before giving her own answer. "Only Tom Holland knows."

"Who?"

"Sorry, I meant Atohallan, because you know, he gives spoilers. Unfortunately, he's not in this movie. But my mother would sing this lullaby when I was young about this river cult called Atohallan, that was said to have the answers from the fanbase about the past. About what we are part of."

"Will you sing the song for us? So we can stay up tonight afterwards?" Elsa asked her mother.

Iduna nodded with a smile. "Okay, but remember to keep it in mind so you don't end up freezing in the future Elsa."

And as Iduna proceeded to sing All is Found for her two daughters to try to get them sleep, little did the mother knew that a few hours later, Anna would proceed to bother Elsa to build a snowman that would end up with Elsa headshotting her sister with her powers and proceed to spend 13 years isolated from each other just cause of a simple trickshot. But there's already a movie for that, which is already narrated over. So please remember the moral of the story: Don't sing a Disney song before sleep or you might get hit in the head by ice powers.

Now where were we?

**A/N: First scene concluded. And now to wait 19 years later for the present situation. I hope you enjoyed this abridged dubbed episode version sponsored by HISHE Dubs and LittleKuriboh (nah I wish XD). Anyways, expect a new episode every week and if you don't get one, drinks are on me. And let the new joke begin for this fanfic, Shut up Anna (get it? Eh? Like Shut up Mokuba? =). Until next time! Leave a review and your thoughts on what you think. Please do :(**


	2. Chapter 2: A crazy sing along

**A/N: After so long, I decided to update this story for no reason. I should be working on Until We Meet Again or Into The Other Dimension, and yet, I'm making a new episode. If Disney ever finds out about this fanfiction, I'll probably be sued for sure. But who wouldn't make fun of Elsa? **

**Enjoy the new episode! **

**PS: I don't own Disney's Frozen, but for God's sake, we all knew that.**

**Warning: Inappropriate jokes and language are imminent. You've been warned.**

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**Episode 2: A crazy sing along**

Well, what do you know? I, the narrator, was busy chilling with some friends of mine when this fanfic author decided to make me narrate the story again because he was bored.

***proceeds to turn as shouting from the backstage can be heard***

Fine. Let's see where we left off.

Oh right.

We're just getting live footage of where we left off in the previous episode, I mean chapter, as the camera slowly zooms into the future in which we see a grown-up, dysfunctional ice queen known otherwise as Elsa looking out into the distance.

Oh God, is she having another mental crisis again? I didn't sign up for this.

***more angry shouting***

Alright, jeez. Anyways, Elsa is once again doubting her existence in life when that fat guy butler, who was he again? Oh right, Kai the butler approaches Elsa as she totally seems uncertain of herself.

"Your majesty," Kai says to Elsa as she is totally surprised by his scary voice and ends up freezing the balcony of course, "The guests that have been waiting since your coronation from the first movie are ready now."

"Oh shit," Elsa replied as she giggles nervously and breaks her hand from her ice, "How dare you sneak up on me slave! Get back to work!"

"I'm a butler, you know."

"Eh, same thing."

As we see Elsa head back into the castle hall, she proceeds to turn as she hears the call of Ahtohallan calling out to her from a distance. She glances at Kai before seeming concerned.

"Did you hear that cry?"

"What cry?"

"You know, like the shrill siren cry that is totally loudly calling out to me?"

Kai shook his head as he looked at Elsa like she's crazy.

"Your majesty, I think it's time you should go see a psychiatrist for sure. That way, we can know for sure if you're crazy or not."

Of course, Elsa totally dismisses her slave, I mean butler, as the camera then follows the bright orange leaf, for who knows what apparent reason, throughout the city of Arendelle. Seriously, why are we following a leaf around? For the next plot point?

***an angry groan can be heard with shouts***

Oh, we are? Sorry, I'm still trying to follow this leaf to where we now see Anna walking on a road, apparently getting chills from a simple leaf. Like come on, it's barely fall and, oh there she goes already to where Olaf is lying in the sunlight on a blanket. I'm surprised he's not melting since that cloud that normally hovers over him isn't there anymore.

We see the camera zoom in as Anna happily giggles at seeing Olaf. "Olaf, you're being lazy again, aren't you?"

"Shut up Anna," Olaf replies as the snowman lies happily in the sun, "Can't you see I'm living the dream? It's totally unfair when people see you as the comic relief of the show. Seriously, I can't catch a break these days."

"Well, that's because you are the comic relief," Anna replies as the camera zooms in on Olaf's giggling reaction.

"And you're just a side character," Olaf replied, "Tell me, do you ever wonder what it'll be like a main character of the movie?"

"Well yes," Anna replied as she seems to think about this, "But we would have to kill Elsa for our screentime."

"What?"

"I mean, umm, as her loving sister, I suggest that we should ask Elsa if she can share her screentime with us," Anna said as we see her and Olaf look at the sky above to prepare us for the first sing-along of Some Things Never Change, "I'm sure there won't be a problem for us later on. For now, we might as well sing our life problems into a song."

We switch unexpectedly to where Olaf lands in that unguarded cart from walking on the totally unsafe wall. "Like this?!"

"Goddamn it, Olaf! Not like that!" Anna says as she happily catches Olaf, the snowman giggling in response as the leaf blows off again into the distance.

The camera then cuts to where Kristoff is walking by Sven, the two observing as the leaves are blowing all around them.

"Huh," Kristoff says as he watches the leaf fly by, "It's been three years now since my first appearance. Do you think it's time to propose to Anna now?"

"Are you kidding me? Haven't you read enough fanfiction to know that Anna loves Elsa more than you?" Sven replies through Kristoff's voice change as Kristoff uses his loyal reindeer to…

Umm, is he really proposing to Sven? Like, literally proposing to a reindeer?

***"No, he's not! If you've seen the actual movie, he's trying to gather the courage to propose to Anna with Sven helping him!"***

Oh. Well, that explains a lot about why everyone ships Elsanna more than Kristanna. I think this scene explains it.

Kristoff is a freaky animal lover.

"But I'm not a freaky animal lover," Kristoff sadly says as the camera finds him sitting with Sven by his side, "I'm just too nervous to ask Anna to marry me because I know for sure Elsa is going to kill me. Even this ring knows it."

"Oh come on, Kristoff," Sven replies as he catches the ring that clumsy Kristoff can't even catch, "What are the odds of that happening?"

"Very highly," Kristoff replies as the camera then finds them leaving the shop after Kristoff buys that weird book-like thing with Sven.

"Well, here comes Anna," Sven replies as we see Anna and Olaf coming towards Kristoff and Sven, "Ask her now."

Kristoff does so.

"Hey, Anna, will you marry-?

"Yeet!" Anna replies as she dodges Kristoff's hug and he ends up hugging Olaf instead of her.

"Heck."

The camera switches to find an emotionally distraught Elsa coming out on the balcony as she seems unsure of herself.

"Oh God, I'm never getting that picture out of my head," Elsa says as the camera gets a close up of her, "And this weird voice in my head keeps trolling me for it. Oh well, let's see what my slaves are up to."

She then sees Kristoff and Anna talking to each other with Sven and Olaf as well in the distance from her castle.

"Oh no, he isn't talking to my girlfriend!" Elsa says as she smiles at the two of them with a devious smirk, preparing to leave.

"Well, it's clear now. I'm gonna kill that freaky animal lover."

As Elsa makes her way with the intent of killing Kristoff, the camera then finds the slaves, I mean Arendellians, preparing for the thanksgiving festival, I don't even know myself what the hell tradition they're doing, and Anna of course always messes it up as she pulls up the line of underwear instead of the Arendellian banner.

And Olaf tosses that fish into the sea. I'm sensing he's gonna pay for it later on.

And we now find Anna running towards her girlfriend, I mean sister, Elsa as everyone continues to sing joyfully.

"Well, we might as well since this is a Disney movie," the people sing as they carry the tables, with Olaf jumping in front of the camera.

"Yeah, so start singing you Frozen lovers," Olaf says as he breaks the fourth wall intentionally.

"Yeah, it helps to sing all of your problems out loud so everyone can hear your darkest secrets!" Anna and Kristoff sing together as Oaken places a pumpkin between them.

The camera then finds Elsa taking Anna as she shoots ice in the air as everyone continues singing along terribly, with the day going by as Sven eats a nose of Olaf, the kids use Elsa as a party clown, and Kristoff can't dance along to the pace of everyone else.

I think we can all agree when I ask what's wrong with this movie.

The camera then finds as the family group heads to the castle for the night, as Anna hugs Elsa first.

"Well, this was a perfect day for the Elsanna fans," Anna says as she hugs her sister too tight.

"Yep!" Elsa replies as she heads into the castle. "This will make them ship us more!"

"I'm still the comic relief character by the way," Olaf says as he and Sven head next.

"And I'm still waiting for you to marry…" Kristoff as he twirls Anna like a ballerina.

"Nope!"

"Heck."

As Anna is left alone, she sighs happily, dreaming about what is to come for her and Elsa later on when everyone else is asleep. Before she heads into the castle, she sings one last thing before the camera turns off because we're low on budget.

"I just hope Elsa doesn't screw things up again."

Welp, haha, I'm in danger.

**End Episode 2.**

Now, where's my paycheck?

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this new episode that took more than 3 months of development, or in this case, one day. Remember, this is a parody of Frozen 2, so don't take it seriously. If you had a laugh, or not, leave a review on what types of jokes or stuff I should include in this abridged series of the movie. After all, it's going to make fun of every shipping from Frozen, include jokes from parody videos and even famous vines, and perhaps if you want to join in on the fun, pm me to join this low budget fan fiction.**

**That's all for now. Make sure to not miss a very special episode of Frozen and Pals for next time that's been nominated for Academy Awards. Because I really need the ratings. :/**


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